Brown Nose Epidemic hits the UK

It was mistakenly reported that some UK livestock had a disease called “blue tongue” when in fact the report should have read “brown nose”. How this observation has been missed for so long is a mystery. It is also untrue that an invasion of foreign midgets was the direct cause, although scientists are not discounting an indirect link. The afflicted animal is not confined to one species but crosses over into all species, from worker to manager. The discovery has prompted calls for a National Brown Nose Day and a 60 hour week. Although it has to be said that those most in favour of the event are not those generally afflicted with a brown nose. This group of people (sometimes known as CEOs or SODs) often have blue blood and red noses, a phenomenon sometimes referred to as a G&T as the direct cause is often a superabundance of Gin and Tonic in the bloodstream. Scientists are still trying to find out how the blood is so affected when the red nose subjects swear they never touched a drop when they are actually at work.